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Politics, crocs and moms

December 29, 2011

I got up in the morning all pissed off at my mom!! She had embarrassed me in front of everyone the night before, in my dream.

I dreamt that I was a politician, not the oldie type, 27-28 year old sitting in the Lok Sabha. It had to be the Monsoon session for Delhi was facing torrential rains. The Yamuna was over flowing and there was knee-deep water everywhere! I came out and stood in the lobby when I saw a HUGE crocodile swimming in the flooded waters below. I realized that a senior politician (read old) was trying to wade through to reach his car.

I shouted out to the old man, repeatedly but I guess his hearing machine was low on batteries, but he failed to hear my warning. Don’t worry the croc didn’t gobble him up some security guard heard me screaming and stopped him. I then ran down for the croc was now climbing up the stairs. This croc wasn’t any ordinary croc, he was really ginormous, looked more like the Salt Water crocs found in Burma.

Having watched Discovery and Nat Geo for years, especially Steve Irwin’s Crocodile Hunter’s Diaries, I knew exactly what to do. I with great confidence walked towards the reptile, like a knight in shinning armour with quite a bounce in my walk, and took of my hair band. My hair tossed and bounced like those shown in Pantene and Dove  ads, glossy and gorgeous. In a split second I stomped my foot on the crocs mouth, sat on him just like Steve and his gang would, covered his eyes with my thighs so that he calms down and tied his mouth with my band.

Aghast and bowled over all the politicians and I think I saw Rahul Gandhi and Arun Jaitely with their mouth open and hanging. I guess it was Sibi (Kapil sibal :P) who in quite a shocked and high-pitched tone asked, “Weren’t you scared? Are you mad, how did you do that?”. In quite a matter of fact tone I replied,” Everyone knows that a crocs mouth muscles that enable him to open his mouth are rather weak. Didn’t you ever watch Discovery?!!”.

Of course clapping, 24×7 media coverage, popularity and fame did follow. But somehow my mom was in the visitor’s gallery that day, probably to see her daughter at work. She came down and in front of everyone twitched my ear and started to scold me “Are you crazy”, “what if he bit you”, “hero baneki koi zarorat nahi hai” and all those motherly things ensued. So after all that my mom embarrassed me in front of everyone!

When I narrated this dream to her in the morning she remarked, “Oh so I’ll always be there to humble you!” No mom you embarrassed me.

Lessons learnt-

1) Stop watching Parliament proceedings, for politics has now entered my dreams.

2) Count on mom to embarrass you.

Ps: In case anyone out there is a dream reader could you tell me what this dream means?

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