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Its the crime that matters, not the random details

January 6, 2012

Every time I open the newspaper or go online I find stories about sex crimes. Rape, eve teasing, molesting are everyday occurances. Happened in gurgaon or bombay on new year’s eve. Sadly, the comments online or talk in real life never moves beyond stupid details. Where did it happen, when, what was she wearing, was she alone, why was she alone, is she a slut?

Till the time we are stuck with these small itsby-bitsy pieces of inconsequential information we will forever overlook the main point- the crime and its actual cause.  James Gilligan wonderfully describes the reason behind sex crimes. The use of violence (here sexual in nature) is an attempt to earn respect or undo shame (by transferring the feelings of humiliation).

Women, in this patriarchal world, are considered as sex objects, bereft of a voice. Thus a man finds it appropriate to fuck around (literally and metaphorically) with her.

Does it matter what she was wearing? Women wearing saris, burqas , salwar kameez have been raped time and again!! So why this talk of ‘oohh she should have worn proper clothes’? Does it matter where she was and at what time? Women have been raped by presidential guards near the Rashtrapati Bhavan, in broad daylight!! How old or young she was? New born babies and bed-ridden 108 year old women have been raped!! And why was she with a man? Hey when fathers and uncles rape you and majority of the rapists are known to the victim does it stupid talk really help?

Why this victimization of the victim? Have we ever wondered what Draupadi was wearing, or if she tempted the Kauravs, or was she asking for it? NO!! Then why are these questions raised by us and the media??

The moment we raise these questions rather than looking at the underlying problem we aggravate the entire problem. The person raping is the bad person, not the one getting raped. The perpetrator should be punished and the the victim.

The crux of the matter is that women are disrespected. PERIOD. Till we start respecting them as equals no length of one’s skirt is going to stop sexual crimes.

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