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Sadly the saga continues…….

March 12, 2014

Every time a woman is raped, every time a woman is harassed or molested one finds the media abuzz with people demanding justice. On the streets we see candle light marches with men and women, young and the elderly together with posters and chants asking the government and police to ensure that there is justice and no crimes against women.

I wonder at times, and more so after what I recently came across, that is any government or police force capable of ending crimes against women? Can a law, state directives, government polices and a bunch of men with lathis really resolve this huge problem that not only plagues India but the whole world?

I’ve had this argument a number of times with my friends and peers that what can an institution do if the society that very institution represents believes that women are not equal and therefore rightfully at the receiving end of such crimes?! What can the police really do if your father, husband, boyfriend thinks that it is ok to hit you, ok to kill you cause you ran away with a person from another caste or religion, ok to tell you that now you’re married and therefore need not work?

The first counter argument to the above set of questions would be that they could enforce the rule of law more effectively so that it proves to be a deterrence to people. But do you really believe that sending a person from a khap panchayat who believes in “Honour Killing” (I call it cold-bloodied murder) will be deterred by law? For him this messed up notion of honour is far greater than anything the IPC has to say. And wait do we stop doing things we truly believe are right just cause another person told them it is wrong?

Where is all this coming from, AN? Y U so angry? Well it’s cause I’m super pissed. I guess I’ve been disillusioned for the longest time. I believed that I had friends..not just friends but a circle of people..who understood this. Understood that women are not an object, that women wearing certain kinds of clothes, drinking alcohol, etc is not an invitation to rape or ‘slut shamming’. But guess I was wrong, so very wrong!

I a few days ago got up with a very sad reality dawning upon me. I was in the midst of extremely disturbed and misogynistic people. A bunch of people who were aware of their female friend being molested by a guy, the girl being traumatized by it and her being under therapy!

I was and am angry, shocked and hurt! Pained by what happened and what I later came across when I tried to raise my voice. A girl whom you’ve called a ‘bro’ for months was one night groped by a very close friend- both under the influence of alcohol. Yo may wonder why I mentioned alcohol. Well that is because for other people it’s a reason to excuse what happened AND blame the girl for not being careful enough.

Sounds so very familiar, right? We read such things every single day in the newspaper, online, but you have this belief that somehow your set of friends wouldn’t be like this. That they will always be there for you cause after all they are well-educated people who have had the same exposure as me. But then realizing that your belief was based on complete bullshit!

When you are going to go around telling people to come together and ensure that this matter is not shushed, that the authorities take serious action against the perpetrator you get to know that they will say “hey he was drunk” or “Forget it” or even worse “Don’t victimize him, she also should have been a little more careful after all you wouldn’t put yourself in such a situation”.

Such this have happened, happen and will continue to happen. You will be pissed, devastated and let down when you take up such a case. But you know what it is important for us to continue these battles.

I know this is just a rant. But I really need to vent out the anger and pain.


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